TLS, “Love, Phil," who adds a heart with arrow, two pages, 8.5 x 11, January 14, 1981. Letter to science fiction author Patricia Warrick, in full: "The enantiodromia in my thinking that I predicted in my last letter has now taken place. I now believe that in March 1974 I was in God's mind, and when I saw the macrometasomakosmos I was seeing the universe as he sees it, which is to say, conceptually. In contrast, on 11-17-80 I was aware of him externally; I was not in his mind but in contact with his mind. Therefore it can be said that March 1974 was by far the more extraordinary event. 11-17-80 was theopany, but March 1974 was the union with the Godhead that Eckehart describes (which is very similar to the 'Tat tvam asi' experience of Brahman that Sankara describes; this is why t seemed to me that I had experienced Brahman).
It is easy to see how this fits in with Spinoza's one substance, two attributes. Mind if the inner attribute of God; it is God seen, so to speak, from the inside (as Will Durant points out; I mention this in a previous letter). It is exactly how we experience our own self: mind inwardly, body outwardly. The only way you are going to experience the inner side of the substance, which is to say mind, is to be in the mind of God; this is the same thing phrased two ways: to be in the mind of God and to experience the inner side of God which is mind. He is conscious of himself as physical reality extended in space, i.e. as a body, just as each of us is of his own self. What was so amazing was that he does not think as we do (as I keep mentioning) but he purely knows, I now realize, necessary truths. He has a perfect a priori knowledge of all that is because all that is is in fact within him as part of him. So I can confirm Spinoza's view; God does not have a merely contingent knowledge of the universe and the creatures in it; he has a necessary knowledge because there is nothing outside him. Hence my being in his mind was a perfect knowledge of my part of him because I was aware that I was a part of him, that is, in him as mind—him as mind—and him as body, the universe seen however as the macrometasomakosmos. This is Pythagoras' kosmos. So I have gone in my life from Schopenhauer's horrific vision of world—which is world under the aspect of the irrational and the suffering—to God's view of the universe, which is rational and beautiful. It has to be that the latter view is the correct one. God sees—i.e. understands, conceives—it with all the conceptual connectives in place; hence it is total absolute integrated structure. The beauty of this is beyond words, and it is the beauty of absolute order and absolute reason, as if beauty is a third attribute of God.
I am starting to run out of steam, but I did want to tell you this. I felt certain of it last night. It was so beautiful! (The Sufis, by the way, teach that God's Being is Absolute Beauty; Absolute Beauty is his essence. They might be right.)
By the way—I meant to tell you, I got some news that came as a real shock to me; it upset me terribly. Children, Incorporated informed me that little Augustina and her family moved away to some other part of Mexico; apparently she never got my Christmas present I sent her. I will never hear from her again or know how she is or what is happening to her, if she is okay. The agency sent me a photo of another little poor Mexican girl and I pulled myself together and went down at once to mail off the $180 money for her. This was something that I had not expected. Well, I have lost so many people…but this one really hurt. To cheer myself up I bought six beef-and-kidney pies from Ireland—they come in tins. I love them incredibly. Anyhow, I cooked the first one, took it out of the oven and carried it proudly into my living room, whereupon it at once set off my smoke alarm. I never heard such a noise in my whole life. I thought World War III had broken out. Took me forever to the damn thing to stop." Dick makes a few handwritten corrections to the text. In fine condition. Accompanied by the original mailing envelope.